Mind set: Happiness is homemade

Regardless of whether we live in the US, India or anywhere else, family is the building block of any society, and our greatest fulfillment lies there. Of course, one needs to give due importance to work.
But if any society works diligently in every other area but neglects the family, it would be the same as straightening deck chairs on the Titanic.
If you have strong and effective relationship with family members — whether living together or apart — the resultant good vibes and mental solace tend to overflow into all other aspects of life. When your family is heading in the right direction, you are better able to perform and focus at work. On the other hand, if things aren’t going well at home, it is difficult to be deeply happy anywhere else. Thus, it is supremely important that at home, with your family, you concentrate on creating a beautiful family culture. Marriage is more than a contractual relationship — it is a promise from each individual to stay true to their love and commitment. While I can’t tell you how to choose the right mate, I can advise you to determine what your values and principles are — and who might be a complimentary companion. Write a personal mission statement, outlining what is important to you, how you envision marriage and what family means to you. When the time is right, share this with your companion and encourage him/her to do the same. Happy marriages don’t just happen — they are created with body, mind, heart and spirit. No one can afford to get lazy in their relationship with their spouse. It must be nurtured and tended to. And when it gets off the track, as all relationships tend to, from timeto-time, we must correct our course and come back on track. You will find that going back to your own mission statement can act as the guiding force that brings you back — because you will live according to what matters most to you. One of the best ways of keeping a marriage and family effective and healthy is by living the “Seven Habits”. These embody universal, timeless principles — they belong to you, to me and all the people in the world. They are not my creation. You already know these principles because you know them to be true and already exercise them to varying degrees. I have simply put a framework around principles and organized a systematic way of living them. Committing to these principles may help you strengthen your marriage and family ties. Here is a quick overview: Be proactive The power to make a difference in your family lies within you. The place to begin is not with other family members, but with yourself. You have the freedom to choose your actions and you have four unique endowments to guide your responses to people, situations and your environment: Self-awareness : Step outside of yourself and be aware of your motives, thoughts, feelings and you can decide what you need to change. Imagination : You can envision what you can be and do. Conscience : Listen to the inward voice that prompts you to do certain things. Develop it. Independent will : You can choose what you desire to do, and you have the freedom and the power to do it. Begin with the end in mind Decide what you desire for yourself and the culture you would like to develop with your family. This vision is more powerful than any problems you may have in the past or present. Write down your vision in a mission statement and clarify your values, and principles. Put first things first Organize your priorities according to what matters most to you — in alignment with what you envisioned in Habit 2. Make certain your family has four basic systems in place: • Selecting goals and making family plans; • Teaching and training at home; • Communicating and solving problems together; • Completing tasks and disciplining within the family Think win-win Win-win is mutual benefit. Win-lose is authoritarian – “I’m right and you’re wrong; I make the decisions and you lose.” In a win-win family culture, difficult decisions can be made but they are not implemented in a way that violates the larger context of thinking win-win. Thinking win-win is at the heart of an effective family culture. Understand, then be understood Seek to understand what other family members feel or think – from their frame of reference – by listening with your ears, heart and mind. When you truly understand, then you can better explain your position or ideas. Listening and understanding is the catalyst that makes effectiveness possible. Synergize Cooperate and seek third alternatives that neither single family member could come up with on their own. Through a willingness to communicate, to understand and think winwin, family members can solve most difficult problems or create opportunities that could not have been achieved individually. Sharpen the saw Renew yourself and your family by taking care of your physical, mental, social and spiritual needs. Do not neglect these important human needs, or you will eventually pay the price. A beautiful family culture can deteriorate unless the batteries that give it its power are continually re-charged. India is a beautiful nation with a rich history, traditions and legacy. Your families are at the heart of your nation – do not neglect your most precious resource. I know with great surety that living principle-centered lives promises to strengthen us individually, in our marriage, in our families, in our communities and places of work. Stay true to your path and remember what matters most to you.
By STEPHEN R COVEY
(Stephen R Covey, vice-chairman of Franklin Covey Co, is the author of ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People’)
Curtsey: The Times of India

Happiness: Key to longer life

Started from the days of Malla dynasty in Kathmandu Gai Jatra festival is one of the remarkable and religiously important festivals of Nepal. A weeklong Gay Marta festival comes to an end today. During week days, people come out on the streets wearing weird outfits and make sarcastic comments, people act crazy, some are on jogis style, others are on half-man and half-woman style and so on. Also gays, who have not been seen by the general people, entertained the Kathmanduties. Anyway, Gai Jatra festival is a festival of mixed varieties like kwati that has to be eaten on Janai Purnima and Gai Jatra day too. Introduced during the Malla dynasty in Kathmandu, it is a festival of entertainment and laughter on one side and it is also a festival that make people busy in remembering their departed souls wishing for the heaven’s door to open for them (departed souls). Many others are busy utilizing their freedom of expression. With out doubt, it can also be said that Gai Jatra day is also a Day of Laughing. Therefore, on this day people keep on humming without any worry in order to become happier.. Astrologers, Saints, and other Gurus believed that "being happy can add several years to life. " "Happiness does not heal, but happiness protects against falling ill," it is said. After reviewing various studies, it is said that the effects of happiness on longevity were "comparable to that of smoking or not". That special flair for feeling good could lengthen life by between 7.5 and 10 years. The finding brings a vital new piece to a puzzle currently being assembled by researchers on just what makes us happy — and on the related question of why people blessed with material wealth in developed nations no longer seem satisfied with their lives. Once the province of poets or philosophers, the notions of happiness and satisfaction have been taken on and dissected, quantified and analysed in the last few years by a growing number of highly serious and respected economists — some of whom dub the new field "hedonics", or the study of what makes life pleasant, or otherwise. "The idea that there is a state called happiness, and that we can dependably figure out what it feels like and how to measure it, is extremely subversive." "It allows economists to start thinking about life in richer terms, to stop asking ‘What did you buy?’ and to start asking ‘Is your life good?’." Growth in material wealth also adds little to happiness in the life of people. Nevertheless, friendship and human community, as well as larger social factors such as freedom, democracy, effective government institutions and rule of law can bolster happiness. Meanwhile, in a report entitled "Journal of Happiness Studies," the strongest effect on longevity was found among a group of US nuns followed through their adult life — perhaps reflecting the feel-good factor from belonging to a close-knit stress-free community with a sense of purpose. While the lyrics from the Grammy-award 1989 "Be Happy" hit were inspired by popular Indian guru Meher Baba, nowadays, in more than 100 countries, from Bhutan in the Himalayas to the US and Australia, economists are working to put "happiness" indicators (a new kind of quality-of-life index) into the measurement of growth. Happiness itself, according to the specialists, is generally accepted as "the overall appreciation of one’s life as a whole", in other words a state of mind best defined by the person questioned. Happiness also had helped some cancer patients suffering from a relapse, in general "happiness does not appear to prolong the deathbed." Among healthy populations, on the contrary, happiness appeared to protect against falling ill, thus prolonging life. Happy people were more inclined to watch their weight, were more perceptive of symptoms of illness, tended to be more moderate with smoking and drinking and generally lived healthier lives. They were also more active, more open to the world, more self-confident, made better choices and built networks that are more social. For the time being happiness fosters physical health, but not precisely how? "Chronic unhappiness activates the fight-flight response, which is known to involve harmful effects in the long run such as higher blood pressure and a lower immune response." To improve good cheer, there needed to be more research on the impact of residential conditions or on the long-term effects of school on happiness. And studies on job-satisfaction failed to address the question of life-satisfaction at work. However, these findings opened new vistas for public health. Governments need to educate people in the art of "living well", helping to develop the ability to enjoy life, to make the best choices, to keep developing and to see a meaning in life. "If we feel unhealthy we go to a medical general practitioner," but "If we feel unhappy there is no such generalist. We have to guess." "Professional guidance for a happier life is unavailable as yet. This is a remarkable market failure, given the large number of people who feel they could be happier."
"Don’t Worry Be Happy".
By Arun Ranjit
Curtsey : http://www.gorkhapatra.org/

Happiness is a matter of perception: Study

People tend to judge their level of happiness on the basis of the picture they have chosen to represent yourself to the world, according to a study. Queensland's University of Technology's (QUT) Benno Torgler asked 554 people to rate the level of happiness of each of the subjects in 12 colour photographs taken from Web sites. The photographs were of Nobel Prize winners, top economists and happiness researchers. "Half of the people had no information on the 12 researchers in the photos. The other half were told that the photographed individuals were 'happiness researchers', 'top economic researchers' or 'Nobel Prize winners in economics," Torgler said. The tongue-in-cheek study focussed on the perception of others rather than self-reporting because the use of perception was common in economics. "We decided to take the picture each researcher chose to put on his academic homepage as the 'mirror' to the outside world because it would be a good proxy for how they see themselves." He said economists had investigated the superstar effect of sports and entertainment celebrities and it was time to investigate the superstars of academia, reports Sciencealert . He said that while a happiness researcher had ranked last in the happiness stakes, overall these researchers were happier than Nobel Prize winners. Another interesting finding of the study was a gender difference. "Women perceived these researchers to be happier than men did, which is interesting because only male economics superstars were shown," he said.
Curtsey: The Times of India